Why It’s So Hard to Let Go of Things—And What to Do About It
Do you feel buried in clutter, but feel too overwhelmed when it comes to thinking about it? Or maybe you try to make a start, but it just feels too much and you feel lost with all this stuff?
Decluttering often gets painted as a purely physical task:
just get rid of stuff, right? But for many people, letting go isn’t just about “tidying up.” It’s about untangling years of emotion, memory, identity, and sometimes, trauma.
If you’ve ever stood frozen in front of a pile, unable to decide what to keep or toss, you’re not alone. And you’re not doing anything wrong. In fact, the deeper reasons why we hold onto things are often invisible—buried beneath the surface.
This is something the book Buried in Treasures explains beautifully. Co-authored by David Tolin, Randy Frost, and Gail Steketee, the book helps readers understand that difficulty with clutter isn’t a character flaw—it’s a complex mix of emotional, mental, and even neurological factors. And recognizing that complexity is the first step toward meaningful, compassionate progress.
The Decluttering Iceberg: What’s Beneath the Surface?
Let’s take a look at this Decluttering Iceberg image:
(Image Source: https://bluepeersupport.com/)
What we see above the surface—clutter, acquiring, and saving—are just the visible signs. But underneath?
That’s where the real challenges lie:
• Trauma
• Grief and loss
• Mental health struggles
• Physical health limitations
• Executive functioning difficulties
• Family history
• Memory and neurobiology
This image is a powerful reminder that decluttering isn’t just a matter of willpower. It’s a layered, emotional process that’s often rooted in more profound life experiences. For some people, clutter isn’t just stuff—it’s security, identity, or even a way to manage overwhelming feelings.
When Emotions Surface, Let Them Flow
As a professional organizer, I’ve seen it time and again: as the stuff goes, emotions flow. Sorting through belongings can bring up everything from nostalgia and grief to guilt and anxiety. That’s completely normal.
Because of that, I take a trauma-informed, compassionate approach to decluttering. I recognize that for some clients, especially those dealing with loss, trauma, or long-term patterns of saving, it’s not just about organizing—it’s about healing.
In many cases, I’ll partner with a licensed psychologist or mental health professional to ensure clients are fully supported, especially when clutter is deeply connected to past experiences or emotional pain.
You’re Not Alone: Support Is Out There
For those struggling with chronic disorganization or hoarding behaviors, Buried in Treasures support groups can be life-changing. These evidence-based, peer-led groups provide a safe, judgment-free space to:
• Share experiences
• Learn practical tools and cognitive strategies
• Make progress at your own pace
• Feel seen and supported
They’re based on the same principles in the Buried in Treasures workbook and offer a strong foundation for emotional and behavioral change, often alongside working with a professional organizer or therapist.
What You Can Do Now
If letting go feels heavy, it’s okay to start small. Choose a drawer, a box, or a single item. Reflect on what it means to you and how it serves your life today. Progress doesn’t have to be fast—just steady and supported.
Decluttering is just as much an emotional and mental process as it is a physical one. And your journey is valid, no matter how long it takes.
Final Thoughts
Letting go of things isn’t about being more organized or getting Insta-worthy spaces. It’s about creating room for peace, clarity, and the life you truly want to live.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, please know: you don’t have to do it alone. Whether through one-on-one support, therapy, or a Buried in Treasures group, there are resources designed for you.
Need compassionate, nonjudgmental help?
I offer organizing services that respect your story and support your pace—partnering with mental health professionals when needed, and always prioritizing your well-being.
Reach out today for a free consultation. Let’s take this one step at a time—together.
